Sunday, December 21, 2014

Top 8 Rock Albums of All Time

Or some shit like that.
I know it's a snare and a stupid one at that. I know it's just clickbait, I know it's designed by soulless cynics to do exactly this to me; I know I should not allow myself, simply because I happen to care about music, to get sucked in. But here I am, nailed and inhaled, snookered despite the better, wiser, part of myself that when confronted, simply ignores stupid shit on the internet.

But <SIGH>I just came across a resolutely idiotic Best Rock Albums list at entertainment/ top-8-rock-albums-of-all-time/, and no you shouldn't click that's what they want, so I then felt absolutely COMPELLED to spend 60 post-midnight minutes researching and formatting a list that, as gruesome and horrid as it may be, is also at least as valid as one that puts stupid Born To Run at number one, stupid Dark Side of the Moon at number two, and lists Houses of the Holy while neglecting IV. And makes mention of Workingman's Dead*.

So . . . . Take this Top 8 Rock Albums list and insert it up your bunghole, you dumb people Daily 8 you!!!!!

1. Cryptopsy - None So Vile
2. Carcass - Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious
3. Napalm Death - Scum
4. Cannibal Corpse - Butchered at Birth
5. Death - Leprosy
6. Cephalic Carnage - Exploiting Dysfunction
7. Deicide - The Stench of Redemption
8. Obituary - Slowly We Rot

May you Daily 8 be reduced to gore and putrefaction by the swarming Antichrist minions, and may God forgive me for my incredible naivete about the internets

File Under: If the Universe Went To A Death-Metal-Only Format, pwned

* Maybe, just maybe, I could've forgiven the other stuff, but this last is unforgivable by reasonable men anywhere. (Return)

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